Paitence: A Promise From One Parent to Another

Parenting is hard. Period. There is no easy road. No easy solutions. No one perfect way to parent. Yet, it seems everywhere you turn there is another “expert” telling you what you should and should not do with your children...and they ALWAYS conflict. 

Because of this, I was very skeptical about writing an advice article. Plus I've only been a mom for 8 months so what the hell do I know, right? But because my website's niche is parenting I figured i'd have to give my readers some sort of parenting advice eventually ( sorry for my non parent readers) 

Mothers LOVE to give advice. I mean LOVE. I was so bumbarded with information ALL the time once i got pregnant. It was nice at first because i was so nervous about taking care of a baby that I wanted all the advice I could find. But then it never stopped. Mothers every where were trying to pass down their mommy methods to me and perersitantly so if I might add. Eventually those mothers drove me mad ( or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones who knows) . But either way, because of that experience I always told myself I would never become one of those moms. So instead of the basic approach like all the other mom-advice-articles I'm going to share ONE peice of advice that changed the mommy game for me all together. And I promise you it doesn't get any more simple than these two words.....

"Just wait"

When they're fussy...just wait. Like REALLY listen, pay attention to them. Look for the reason why. Are they tired? Hungry? In need of some cuddling? Once you've discovered their need you can take care of it. 

When you rush over to the child, in panic, as soon as you hear him cry (yes I did this and yes it was so hard to break) you don't always notice the reason why they're doing what they're doing. So when it looks like they need help with a problem...JUST WAIT. They will either amaze you with their problem solving skills or let you know when they need help. (in my experience Bryson is pretty independent so far). 

So basically when you rush in to save the day ( because who doesn't like being a hero?) the child could have missed out on an opportunity to learn. You take away the joy of them figuring it out on their own. 

Now I know I am a very new mother but I have younger siblings and I also ran a daycare out of my house when I was pregnant. So from my personal experience I feel like children's satisfaction, comfort, and self pride is STRONGEST when they are able to do something on their own rather than the other way around. By letting the problem solving happen you are allowing the child to have that resilience-building struggle and frustration that usually precedes accomplishment. Every parent should always wait to see what their child is capable of doing on his or her own at that particular age.

Here's a perfect example. When a baby is struggling to roll from back to tummy, try comforting with gentle words of encouragement before intervening and interrupting their process. Then if frustration mounts, pick them up and give them a break rather than turning them over and fixing them. Waiting encourages the babies to TRY and try again and eventually he /she will succeed rather than believe themselves incapable and expect others to do it for them.

I'm sure this method could work for all kinds of parenting stuff such as potty training or learning to walk but Bryson is only 8 months so Im not quite their yet. I'll be sure to let y'all know when we get there becuase I will always carry this beautiful peice of advice in my heart all the way up into my childs teen years. 

Now I know every mom does things differently like I said earlier so if this method doesn't work for you I am not calling you a bad mother I am just simply telling my readers what works best for me.

I'm sure a lot of mom's willl read this and think waiting can be considered uncaring, unhelpful, and confidence-shaking because that's exactly what my instincts told me when I was first starting out a few months ago.sitting back patiently and observing often feels counterintuitive, so even if we " wait" it usually involves a conscious effort... But trust me my friends, its worth it!

Just wait and be patient. 

Its so simple to understand, yet so hard to do but I promise (and I never break a promise ) if you just wait , slow down, and pay attention. Your children will amaze you. Mine does every day.